Invisible Illness...A Catch 22

Never judge a book by its cover. I may smile, put make up on, fix my hair, and put on my "I'm ok" face, but it’s the only way I can try and get through the day. The reality is that I am really not ok today, but I try my VERY hardest to pretend or convince myself that I am, just to get through the physical and mental pain.

It is so hard when people only assume you’re sick when you look sick and disheveled. If you appear pretty with a smile and look like you are enjoying life then you must feel fine. This is the problem with invisible illness. I REFUSE to sit at home indefinitely feeling gloomy because of the hand I have been dealt. Don't get me wrong I have my days! If I let myself,  others would simply say I need a better attitude and need to put myself together and I would feel better. Not to mention who wants to hang out with someone who is always down. However when I do put myself together and put on a brave face others say well you look fine, you look happy and healthy.

I work so hard every day to keep a positive attitude not only because I want to try to live a happy life but because it is also very important with my illness to help keep it under control. I work hard to look nice when I go out because it helps me feel a little like the old me, and I also have a handsome hubby I want to look good for to remind him I am still me… not just a patient.

It is so important to remember that just because someone comes off as strong it doesn't mean there isn’t something wrong. We need compassion, love and understanding. Luckily, I am very blessed to have many people in my life that support and understand my daily struggle and for that I am so grateful.

“When you get to the end of your rope. Tie a knot and hang on.” ― Franklin D. Roosevelt

I have been MIA on my blog for quite some time I suppose it's because after my last cycle of injections not much changed and I really didn't feel like writing about the disappointment I felt at that time. I guess I have plateued in my progress, which in no way means I do not recognize the blessing of how far I have come from my diagnosis date. My frustration lye's in the fact that now I am forced to maintain my progress with medications that I would give anything to have out of my system but that is just NOT an option. My meds are my survival they are holding me together and give me some sence of normalcy. If I am being honest the progress I have made is not enough either!! I am still not my former self, I am coping but unwilling to give up on the idea that I will have  all my abilities back at some point which is why we need a CURE and we need it NOW!! It breaks my heart to know there so many suffering worse than myself and that so many are children. 

RSD hasn't given me only negatives there have been many positives and blessings along the way. I have made friends through support groups throughout the country and one friend from the UK who is actually coming to visit this year...us RSDers need to stick together! It's a long road ahead and we must conquer it with grace and confidence that we still matter even if we are not who we once were. My husband melts my heart when he says you are brave and beautiful and I can see in his eyes he truly means it. He has no idea how that lifts me up, he is my biggest supporter and RSD has shown me that he will be by my side no matter what!




"The secret of learning to be sick is this: Illness doesn't make you less of what you were. You are still you." Tony Snow


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LB1xYuzxrkQ